


Four Christmas, A Lifetime

by Tat



Series: Rae's series [2]
Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Kid story., M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-05
Updated: 2010-10-05
Packaged: 2017-10-12 10:58:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/124148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tat/pseuds/Tat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starsky's and Hutch life through the decates after sweet revence...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Christmas, A Lifetime

Four Christmas, A Lifetime

By Tat

For Laura

betaed by KimberlyFDR and Lolabobs

1979

 

Hutch looked out of the plane's window and tried to put his thoughts in order. He had to, if he wanted to have his answer for Starsky on his return. That meant less than two hours left for contemplation.

Not that those three days in San Francisco had given him anything that resembled an answer, but this could easily be the most important decision of his life. Rather not just a possibility, it was unquestionably the most essential decision of his life.

He shouldn't be so surprised by the bomb that Starsky had dropped at his feet four days ago; it wasn't like it was the first time that their relationship had taken that kind of turn. "

They had confessed to each other, in a drunken night at the academy that they had both played on the other side of the fence before--him with Jack and Starsky in Vietnam. So it came quite naturally, after his divorce and once they became partners on the force, to find comfort in each other's arms after the worst crises.

In the beginning it was just that, comfort and adrenaline and the need to bank the violence that still shimmered inside them. But everything changed after Forest.

Maybe it was the loving way Starsky had held him in his arms as he trembled and shuddered, having seizure after seizure. It was Starsky that wiped his sweat and held his head as he puked again and again.

He had never felt that protected; not even his mother had ever held him that way. Starsky was home. He had tried to tell himself that the extent of his emotions wasn't genuine, that it was just a byproduct of his predicament.

No such luck. Bellamy's poison had shown those ideas as the nonsense that they were. His heart had decided to take a stand, but it seemed pointless. Starsky was mostly straight; and even if he wasn't, that kind of relationship on more permanent basis could have easily cost them their jobs.

And Starsky's career was his whole world. Add in his desire for children, plus his need to be the toughest cop in their beat, and you had the perfect recipe for disaster.

Subsequently, he held his counsel and a few months later met Gillian. He loved that woman; almost as much as he loved Starsky. And if she had lived he would have married her, and would have been happy with her, and maybe they could have had children together. Then his feelings for Starsky would have stayed firmly where they should.

In all that despair, Starsky was there. He not only had taken him on his dates with his flavor of the month, but he had spent more nights in Hutch's bed than in her's.

Their nights had taken a sweet flavor; so much that that he had started thinking that maybe he should take a chance and confess. However, the point became moot when Starsky met Terry.

For all her sugary sweetness, Terry was shrewd. She had him figured out within five minutes and used it to twist the knife so sweetly when she was calling Starsky her best friend.

In spite of that, he liked her. Starsky needed that kind of strength at his side and her sweetness was calming him. What did it matter that she was petty? She was good for Starsky and he had accepted her with all his heart.

But she died, too. Starsky had cried hysterically in his arms and her parting shot was a magnificent one. Starsky was really touched and that alone was reason to mourn her.

But they were back on track after a while. Hutch thought it was over and done with, but then came Rosie Malone. He didn't believe for a second that Starsky really had a chance with her, but he hated the misery that she caused his partner. However Starsky had loved her.

And truth be told, if the choice was Starsky in pain and his, or Starsky with someone else, there was really no choice at all. He would rather dance at Starsky's wedding, and love it, than cause him even one second of pain.

He pushed aside his need, his want for his partner, and he managed it pretty well until he was struck down with the plague. Starsky had said things in that hospital, and after, that had made him open up and truly hope that there was a future for them out there.

Yet, as he had started to stand on his own feet again, Starsky was out for the next conquest.

That had made him so angry that he had started a chain of idiotic actions, creating a chasm between them; a rift the extent of which he had not comprehended until he was forced to hear Starsky refer to Meredith as his partner.

The words had hurt far more than his injury; it was the first time that his place at Starsky's side was threatened. Unfortunately, he reacted the same way he always did and simply retreated.

He got so numb emotionally that when Lionel ended up dead he was ready to give up everything so he wouldn't start feeling again.

And Starsky stood by him, ready to leave their careers behind and start anew. And as they got themselves tangled in Alison's problems, everything seemed to get right on itself. They were still friends; they were still partners, and so what if they were not lovers? Nothing was perfect.

That resolve was severely tested when they were partnered with Kira. At first glance she was a very gracious, beautiful lady; a competent cop that seemed to melt under his partner's insistent flirting. And Starsky even proclaimed that he loved her.

Love! What was there to love about her? She was a decent enough cop, but Hutch could see nothing significant beyond that.

But Starsky could have seen something in Kira that he had missed. Once again he was ready to resolve himself to stepping aside gracefully. Instead, the story ended differently.

Starsky had come to him later that night, after the blow-out at Kira's. He expected accusations, insults, or even blows. But Starsky did none of those and by the end of the night not only was the friendship repaired, but they were lovers once again.

They only had a week of happiness together before Gunther's hit had almost shattered them. He was still wakening up at nights shaken to his core, but Starsky had made it.

As soon as Starsky had first woken from his coma, Hutch was ecstatic. He undertook all the preparations for Starsky's recovery, even moving his partner into his apartment for the duration. A pleasant and necessary task, as his landlord was selling the house.

And any doubts Hutch might have had, wondering about whether Starsky would once again push him aside for other romantic pursuits, were quickly dismissed. Right before Hutch was due to fly out for a meeting on Gunther's pretrial, Starsky admitted that his almost dying had opened his eyes. He loved Hutch and wanted to spend the rest of his life by his side.

And then Starsky was kissing the breath out of his body. For a second it was perfect; everything that he dreamed. But then it was too much, too good to be true. And then Hutch bolted, out of the door and on a plane to San Francisco as a means of escape.

He had spent his days away concentrating in the hearing, but the thought of Starsky's revelation kept creeping in. Even if his panicked doubts were true, that didn't invalidate Starsky's admittance. Hutch had to collect his thoughts and figure out what to do before he returned to Bay City. Unfortunately, that time was running out.

In the end if Starsky wanted the company of a lady from time to time, he could live with that or if worst came and some day he found the special lady he wanted to have children with, he would withdraw. Their friendship could survive. And it was worth it, even in those terms, he had accepted less.

+++++++++++

Starsky was waiting for him when he landed; and if he had any doubt about his feelings, the agonizing expression on Starsky's face put that worry at ease.

He wanted to tell him that everything would be alright, that he loved him more than his own soul, that he wasn't going to leave him again, but the words were inadequate. Instead, he opened his arms and held Starsky with all that he was worth.

Hutch felt Starsky melting in his arms and his body softened in return. He had no idea that he held such weariness in his body, nor that he could experience such relief, but suddenly it was like his body had lost a serious burden.

Unexpectedly, he felt protected, warm and loved, as he never had in his life. Everything that this man had given him before was now engulfing his whole being. Hutch felt his own love for Starsky overflow. He was home; he was finally home.

"I missed you, Starsk", Hutch breathed.

"I ain't going anywhere"

And Hutch knew, for the first time maybe, that it was always going to be true.

Back in the car, Starsky asked, "Are you done running, Blondie?"

"No more running," Hutch promised.

"Good." Starsky smiled. "I was starting to worry with the way that you left."

"I'm not leaving. Not willingly."

Starsky pulled over abruptly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Means I'm in this thing as long as you are, Starsk."

"Which means forever. What part of 'us alone' don't you understand? It's only been three days, so how the hell did you forget?"

"You might change your mind," Hutch admitted.

Suddenly, Starsky grabbed Hutch across the seat by his jacket, bringing their faces closer. "Listen to me, Blondie, and listen good. There's no need in me that you can't cover. Got it?"

"You're giving up your dreams for this," Hutch whispered.

"My dreams?! My dreams are with you!" Suddenly, Starsky face fell. "Unless it's you who wants out. You're turned off by the scars, aren't you?"

Now he was pissed. "Where the hell did you get that from? I don't give a shit about the scars."

"You could have fooled me!"

"What are you talking about Starsky?"

"All this backing off, backing away. What's with that?"

Hutch didn't dare meet his partner's eyes. "I thought it was safer."

"Idiot!"

"Well, look at my track record, would you?!"

"Hutch, do I look like that frigin bitch, Vanessa?"

"No," Hutch admitted.

"Good, you had me wondering. Do you still trust me?"

"Always Starsk"

"Then trust me. I've never been happier than after I moved with you. The only thing that might ever equal that is if we got back on the streets."

"Right," Hutch said, harshly. "And right after that they boot us out again when they find out what we've been up to."

"I walked away with you once; I'd choose you again." Starsky freely admitted.

His mouth was hanging open and Starsky closed it so tenderly that he flushed to the top of his ears.

"As long as we're together, that's the only thing that matters. Working the streets here or robbing banks in Bolivia, makes no difference to me."

There must been something different in his eyes because before he knew it Starsky's lips were on his. It was countless moments before he pulled back.

"If I had lost you, instead of Terry, I wouldn't have been alive today." He paused, looking into Hutch's eyes and smiling. "Besides, I have a plan!"

Instantly, Hutch was suspicious. "What kind of plan?"

"You'll see," Starsky teased.

"Starsk..."

"Okay, okay," he relented. "I talked to Helene yesterday. Officially, on January 15th, I'm moving into the next apartment. Well, on paper anyway."

"And unofficially?" Hutch pushed.

"Oh, I think you know where I'll be," Starsky laughed.

Yes, yes he did.

1989

Hutch hated traveling alone to Duluth; especially this time of the year. Not because it was Christmas, he didn't give a shit for that, but because he was missing their anniversary.

Not that Starsky could have come with him even if he was invited. Christmas was for families and both his and Starsky's place was with their little family. His father's frantic phone call had pulled him away from that.

If it was just his father, Hutch would have ignored him, but it was his little sister needing the help and he was never one to turn her down.

Kathy deserved a lot better than what she got with the bastard that she married; getting pregnant in college and all. The amazing thing was that she finished, much to her husband's and their parents' disapproval.

While her husband was given a place at the Hutchinson firm, a place both Kathy and Hutch were barred from, poor Kathy had to be content as a mother and socialite, as their mother before her. And then the asshole had done the unforgivable and cheated on her, which pushed her to say enough was enough. And all their parents could ask was 'what will society say, dear?'

So Hutch was on a plane, racing back into the family battle. But he knew his real family was in Bay City. Starsky, their daughter Rae, Minnie, Huggy, Captain Dobey and his family, Kiko, and Molly.

He would gladly add Kathy and Richie to that mix, but he didn't know them that well. If he was lucky, this trip was going to rectify that.

He recalled the steps that had gotten him to today. Ten years ago, nervously committing himself whole-heartedly to Starsky, he had no idea what was in store for them. They were not easy years, not by any definition of the word, but they also held more happiness than he ever dared to dream.

They had returned to their streets and shared Hutch's Venice Place apartment. Starsky was capable as ever and only the odd chase left him short of breath, but that was to be expected. But he couldn't help the drop in his stomach every time Starsky struggled to breathe or the sheer terror in his guts every time Starsky was in danger.

Starsky was an even better cop than before, if that was possible, but Hutch began to doubt his own competence.

It was not long before Starsky understood that there was a problem.

Foolishly, he had tried to cover it up, but one night Starsky forced a confession out of him. Starsky had sat thoughtfully after that, but as Hutch had tried to say that he would get better, he had stopped him.

They hadn't spoken of it again, but few months later they were picked to lead a serial killer task force for the city. It was better than he expected and he rediscovered his passion for the job, much to his surprise.

The commissioner was so pleased with them that the task force remained, but there was a price to pay. They had been promoted to lieutenants to lead task force, but Starsky's promotion, unlike his, had been to special merit and some assholes started to gossip about it. He had been so angry that it created a strain between him and Starsky. In the end, Starsky did the only thing that his dignity allowed him; he busted his ass to get the qualifications.

Meanwhile, their friends' lives had gotten just as complicated.

Cal had managed to get into college studying criminal law, but his first taste of freedom had gotten him careless and he almost gotten booted out by inattention. Dobey had almost a heart attack, but later Cal fixed his grades and graduated with honors.

Minnie had taken the detective exam and later married the department shrink. But while the first had given her justified pride, the latter had given her a little or no pleasure.

Huggy ended up raising his cousin's son when the parents died in a car wreck. Henry was a good kid, but the loss of his family had traumatized him deeply and he was lashing out. Things got easier after a while, especially after Starsky and the kid started talking. The similarities between their traumas were disturbingly the same and it wasn't long before Starsky was a strong force in his life. It was obvious what a wonderful father Starsky would have made.

Starsky was faithful to him, of that he was certain. He flirted still, with anything that moved, but it was all a game. But the knowledge that Starsky needed something Hutch couldn't give him burned like acid.

Minnie's marriage was slowly ending, with her husband addicted to gambling and then medical tests had shown that he was the one incapable of fathering children, not Minnie. That caused him to snap and he had beaten her almost to the death.

Starsky had answered her call of help and the condition that they had found her in had infuriated them. He still wondered how they managed not to kill him, but they didn't. They handed him over to the beat cops and accompanied Minnie's ambulance to the hospital.

Minnie's condition was bad, but not as bad as they feared, and after they got her standing to her own two feet they threw a party in her honor.

They were lowly drunk after the party and they had started confessing. Minnie admitted that the reason she married Carl was because she wanted children and she was getting close to forty.

Starsky tried to console her, acknowledging his own lost dreams of being a father.

And that's when Hutch figured out that the solution to all of their problems was staring them in the face. And then Minnie became a surrogate for them, joining them forever as co-parents to a wonderful little girl.

Rachel Rose Starsky was born June 1, 1984 with the same wild curls and blue eyes of Starsky. They all adored her more than words.

Starsky's mother, however, had blown a gasket after she learned that they had baptized the child. Religious ruffled feathers were soon soothed, though, and Grandma Starsky loved their little girl just the same.

Minnie had permanent custody, but as a newly ranked detective she was also working a lot of hours so it became a natural arrangement for them to have Rachel with them more than half the time.

Those were the best years of his life. Some of his favorite memories were of them feeding Rae, changing her, her first words, her first steps, him singing her to sleep, Starsky telling her a story.

They got a scare when she was four and the family started receiving threatening letters. They found the guilty party on their own, but they almost lost their badges in the process. For all the ups and downs their lives had taken, it all turned out well for them overall. That's all Hutch could have hoped for.

+++++++++++

As Hutch stepped off the plane, the fiery cold came as quite a shock. His sister was waiting for him, looking tired with dark smudges under her eyes. They made small talk on the journey back to the house; a mausoleum decorated to show an artificial Christmas spirit. It was nothing like the warm home he and Starsky provided for their little girl. Hutch couldn't believe he was missing his daughter's Christmas for this.

"Ken? Ken, are you alright?"

"Lost in thought," he joked, smiling mournfully.

His father was expecting him; enthroned to his huge office. He looked older than his age of sixty-five, but really hadn't changed.

"Welcome, Kenneth. I trust you're well."

His father tone was warm, but that warmth wasn't reflected in his eyes; nothing had changed.

"Yeah, Dad."

Not a single question about his partner or child.

He managed to hold his reactions in check.

"I can see you're drifting, son. We have a lot to discuss, but that can wait until tomorrow."

He was led to his childhood room. It looked more like a hotel room than his own, and there was hardly a reminder from his childhood in there.

Finally alone, he called Starsky.

"I'm here," he said by way of greeting.

"You alright? You sound strange," Starsky responded.

"The house is getting to me, that's all."

"How's Kath?"

"Fine. Coping," he responded. "I miss you and Rae."

"We miss you, too." Hutch's yawn broke in before Starsky continued. "You need to rest. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Yeah," Hutch yawned again. "Night, Starsk."

After that, sleep come easier than he expected.

The next day was something akin to hell. He was forced to socialize with people he hadn't seen since he was a child and he didn't have a particular interest to be reacquainted again. Or even worse, he had to plaster a smile to his face and pretend that he was interested in his mother's committees.

His only respite was when he managed to take Richie and Kathy to the skating rink, but that hardly lasted long enough.

His father always seemed to be busy, hardly leaving his office. Still, the way he was shouting to the phone or stopping immediately in the presence of others, that was suspicious and eerie familiar.

So he did what every good detective deserving his badge should do; he investigated. He still knew the layout pretty well and he managed to watch his father discreetly. He was there when his father had the most revealing call.

Hutch's father was shouting that he wasn't giving in, that he had given his soul to that firm. Finally he wound down. "Andrew, don't do that. I'll give you anything you want, but not the firm."

Hutch heard his mother's approach and left as quietly as he could.

What could Kathy's ex-husband know that was making his father resort to begging? That night, he told Starsky his suspicions. It would help to have someone else to bounce his ideas off of.

The next day he awoke mid-morning, after having a restless night's sleep. Going downstairs, he was astonished to see not only the Hutchinson family sitting around the table, but also Starsky and Rae.

"God-Dad!" Rae exclaimed, grabbing him around the legs.

He swept her up and twirled her around, finding peace in her happy giggles. "Were you were a good girl?"

"Yes, God-Dad. Dad took me to see Santa and I asked for a red bicycle, but I don't want training wheels because that's for babies and I'm not."

He laughed at how fast she was talking, leading her back to the table. His father was ignoring everyone, reading his paper. His mother tried to make small talk, but except the typical stuff she didn't have much to say. His sister and Starsky found a commonality in talking about children.

He was looking at them like an idiot when Starsky started teasing him about his breakfast choice and everything correlated back to normal, with Rae managing even to draw Richie out of his shell with promises to play.

When their meal was over, Hutch managed to get Starsky away to talk.

"What are you doing here, Starsk?"

"You needed me."

"And you brought Rae to get right in the middle of it?!"

"Minnie was virtually drowning in work, so she handed her over willingly. Don't worry, everything's gonna be okay."

"You took her on a redeye just to get out here?"

"It was nothing; she was out like a light."

A harsh cough broke the tender moment. His father was standing by the door, giving a strained nod before going back into the other room. Hutch decided this was his cue to follow.

"Sit down, Kenneth. I think we need to speak about your future."

When Hutch took a seat, his father continued.

"I will admit that I was disappointed when you turned down the future that I had laid out for you, but it seems that police work worked well. Only last week Commissioner Wallace confided in me how impressed he was about the Davison case and the ingenious way that you arrested him."

"It was a team effort."

"Why don't you come home, Kenneth? In a couple years Commissioner Wallace will retire and if you play your cards right his position could be yours."

With no verbal reaction from Hutch, his father pushed on.

"As for your partner, he impressed a lot of people too and a fair percent of our higher officers are on their way to retiring. I believe that if he came, it wouldn't be long before he made captain."

Who was this person and what had he done with his father?

"And, Kenneth, I know that you have your opinions and I have come to respect them. But the fact remains that you're not that young, and neither is your partner. If you want children, now is the time. It will be unseemly for the police commissioner to be unmarried to the mother of his children. I would have preferred a woman without color, and more like your equal, but that's the woman that you chosen and I accepted as much."

"Don't you ever insult Minnie," Hutch said angrily. "She's a brilliant police officer, a caring and devoted mother, and a true friend. And just in case that you missed it, I am not involved with her, I am gay. I am in an exclusive homosexual relationship for more than ten years and quite happy with that. So if you want us to go tell me now."

His father suddenly looked old.

"You're not gay, son. Maybe you felt so guilty that your partner got shot that you...mistook those feelings for something different."

"No, Dad. You're just being willfully blind!" Hutch yelled before storming out.

He found the rest of his family outside, happily playing in the snow. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell Starsky that they were leaving immediately, but his mother intercepted him.

"I don't care what you your father told you, I want you here. It's Christmas, Kenneth. Rae tells me she can read and promised to show me. Let me spend the holiday with my grandchild."

That was something he never dreamed he'd hear. A smile soon brightened his face.

"I...Of course, of course we'll let you get to know your granddaughter." He hugged her and kissed her cheek. Maybe all was not all lost.

"Thank you, Mom"

Suddenly she looked uncertain, but she took a deep breath and continued. "Ken, I was not the best of mothers, but I always loved you. I just didn't know how to be a mother."

For the first time in his life, he saw his mother as she truly was. She was still young, barely sixty, and she was very young when she had him. Yet she had done for him the best that she could. The best memories he had of her were reading together art books or singing along to the radio. In her own way, she had helped a lot to shape the man that he was.

"I know, Mom. I love you, too."

The door opened abruptly and his father stormed out to his car. Hutch knew they should question him about Andrew, but truthfully he would rather spend the day with his family. So he allowed himself to get into the game and forget for a while about his father and all their family problems.

Later, he sat with Starsky and they watched Rae reading to his mother. Their little girl was reading slowly, but she was getting more self-assured with every word.

He was bursting with pride and his grin must have been completely sappy because Starsky winked at him and whispered "Big softie" in a tone that only he could hear.

He eyed Starsky critically, like he was one to talk. He stole a look at Starsky's watch, seeing it was well after lunch hour.

Their interaction had caught the attention of his mother which she glanced to her own watch and looked embarrassed. "Oh dear, I am so sorry, let's go see what the cook has prepared."

"Thank goodness," mumbled Richie. "I was bored."

The adults glared at Richie and Kathy looked like she wanted to be swallowed whole, but Starsky's snickering broke the tension. "When I was in his age, I could hardly stay quiet for a second."

"You could hardly do it now!" Hutch pointed out.

Pressure diffused, the adults got up to leave the room, but one look to Rae's face stopped him.

"Starsky," Hutch said, motioning to their daughter.

Starsky kneeled in front of her and told her with absolutely sincerity, "He didn't mean anything by that, and you know what, you read really beautifully."

"Yeah, Papa?"

"Yes, honey"

And just like that Rae was happy again.

Lunch was a quiet affair. Quiet, but not subdued as the laughter flowed free and everyone was in good spirits.

But after the lunch he felt that they had stalled enough. They had a duty to their family and had to help Kathy. They left the children with their grandmother and took Kathy into the library.

"If this is about Richie, I'll talk to him," Kathy started.

"This isn't about Richie, it's about your ex-husband," Starsky got to the point immediately. "When's the last time you talked to him?"

"What did he do this time?" Kathy asked, wary.

"I overheard Dad on the phone yesterday," Hutch explained. "He was shouting and I clearly heard him say 'Andrew, don't do that. I'll give you anything you want, but not the firm.'"

Kathy sat down hard on the nearest seat. "Andrew is blackmailing Dad? Are you sure he said Andrew?"

"I'm sorry, Kath."

"It's not that I don't believe you, but I don't understand it. Dad was furious when I filed for divorce. If Andrew was holding something against him wouldn't he be glad to get rid of him?"

"Not necessarily," Hutch soothed. "Do you know anything that might help us?"

"Sorry guys, they never confided in me about work." She paused. "But now that I think about it, its weird how close Dad was to Andrew from the beginning."

"Yeah," Starsky said. "But it might be something for us to look into."

Later that afternoon, Hutch's father finally returned to the house. He immediately called Hutch in for a conversation, but Hutch beat him to the punch.

"I overheard an interesting conversation yesterday," Hutch warned.

His father lost all his color and sat down hard. "I really would have preferred if you didn't know about that." He took a breath. "A few months back I met a new secretary in the office. She got...into a situation. She accepted my money to take care of the problem, but there were complications and… she died. Andrew took the responsibility to her parents, but it backfired to him."

"How old she was?" His lips were dry.

"Twenty three. Does it really matter, son?"

"Yes it matters! She was a kid, younger than Kathy. What about mom? And you let Andrew take the blame? How could you?" He shook his head. "You have to tell Kathy."

"He wasn't a trustworthy man. The wrongs he covered for me wasn't the only crimes he committed."

"She deserves to know," Hutch pushed. "In fact they both do."

His father looked like he was shrinking into himself. "It won't change a thing."

He hardened his heart. "Maybe so, but it should be their decision."

Something of the Hutchison pride must remained in his father, because he squared his shoulders and held his head high. "Very well. You may call Kathleen in when you leave."

"And Mother?" he pushed again.

His father glared at him. "That is a separate issue that I'll deal with later."

Hutch glared at him before turning to leave. He found his sister and sent her in while he went looking for Starsky.

"How did things go?" Starsky asked, concerned.

"Bad." He didn't elaborate.

"How bad?"

Damn Starsky and his insistence. "Bad enough, I'll tell you later."

The silence stretched between them before Starsky spoke again. "I expected more noise."

"I didn't."

More silence.

Finally, he saw Kathy leave the office. She looked ashen, but her spine was rigid.

He put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?

She shook off his hand of her shoulder and answered with deliberate casualness. "Why shouldn't be? You didn't have to wait on me." And then she turned to leave without another word.

At dinner, Hutch's mother seemed to sense something was wrong, which made Hutch feel even guiltier.

Later, after they were alone, Starsky pushed Hutch for more explanation.

"What do you want to hear, Starsk? That my father used a twenty-three year old kid and got her pregnant or that she didn't survive the abortion? And if that wasn't enough, he put the blame on Andrew."

"Shit." Starsky was as affected as he was, but he still tried to calm him. "She was an adult Hutch, young but adult."

"He didn't care that she died! The only thing that mattered to him was the possible loss of public face."

"I know babe, I know." Starsky sat by his side until his breath evened at last.

"I wanted to break his teeth," Hutch confessed.

"I would have helped you."

Hutch smiled tiredly at that.

"I forced him to tell Mom and Kathy. Well, Kathy. I'm not sure if he'll tell Mom."

"You had to. The lies would have been worst."

They sat quiet for a bit.

"What else, babe? It wasn't the only conversation that you had with your father."

"You mean from before? He insisted that I should marry Minnie!"

Starsky laughed heartily at that. "Our family situation must puzzle the shit out of him."

"It does."

"And, what else?" Starsky's tone held almost anticipation.

"He told me that if I could come here I would be in line for commissioner." He waited a bit. "And you would be in line for captain."

"Do you want it?" Starsky's tone was almost blank.

"Not in a million years."

"Good," Starsky laughed.

They got ready to sleep. But it was after the lights went out that Starsky whispered almost too softly, "If you wanted it I would have come."

"I know."

The next morning he watched his mother and Kathy. His sister was still tense, but she stopped looking ready to snap his head off. His mother, on the other hand, looked serene with her bloodshot eyes.

He couldn't help but ask. "Are you alright, Mom?"

She blinked at him. "Why shouldn't I be?" But then she smiled sweetly at him and he could tell that she was meaning it. "Don't worry, dear, I can take care of myself." Her expression turned sharp. "But I am an old woman and I need to see you more than once every few years."

"Now Silvia..." His father tried to interfere.

"Yes?" his mother answered sweetly.

"These young men have demanding jobs…. But they should come here wherever they can," he finished lamely.

"We'll try our best," Hutch said warmly to his mother.

"Have you reconsidered my offer?" his father asked.

"Not really, but we will try to be here at Easter."

His father nodded his acceptance and got up to head for his office.

Suddenly everything became too much for Hutch.

"Excuse me," Hutch said, getting up from the table.

He drifted mindlessly to the garden, but even that wasn't enough to calm him. Why did he have to do that to them?

It wasn't long before Starsky found him. "What's going on?"

"Did you see her face? I hurt them, Starsk."

"No, that was your father," Starsky said, firmly. "Kathy will be alright, and your mother is a pretty strong lady. Everything will turn out okay, you'll see."

Hutch really wished that he could believe him.

While waiting for their flight later that afternoon, Hutch reflected on their visit. The last six days had been taxing, but good. He had come to an understanding with his parents and that had eased some of his worries.

His mother was what she was, but Hutch knew she could survive this.

His sister was handling things even better. After the initial shock of their father's betrayal had passed, Kathy had started reorganizing her life in a way that frankly amazing him with her determination. She was now working with the firm and even though she didn't plan getting back with Andrew any time soon, they had started talking.

Hutch and his sister had also managed to get closer and they were talking, too. He recalled fondly their last conversation.

"Well that is goodbye."

"Are you truly alright?"

"Yeah, I may not have it as good as you, but I'm getting there."

"I'll miss you," Hutch admitted.

Kathy silently nodded. "Hey," she said, getting his attention. "Dad was an idiot. You're a great father and don't forget it, okay?"

"Thank you." Hutch smiled. "That means a lot."

He smiled with the memory and he couldn't help but admit that Starsky was right! Things indeed turned out okay. He had come here in Duluth to help his sister and he had done that and so much more. But he was returning home far richer in family than he had ever hoped for.

1999

It was good to be returning home, three weeks away from Starsky was truly a long time, and as much as Hutch liked giving his yearly seminar in profiling, DC was boring when he was alone.

It had been nothing like the previous year, when the seminar had been in summer and Starsky had used some of his vacation days to come along. They had even taken Rae with them, Minnie had been stuck at the office, but she hadn't minded …much.

Not that Rae needed any encouragement in her desire to follow their footsteps into a police career, she was already completely determined, and come hell or high water she intended to succeed despite her slight stature.

Hutch didn't know what he felt about that fact; on the one hand he was proud, prouder than ever before in his life, because he knew in his bones that if Rae did manage to take the badge, she would be a really good cop, one of those that made good.

On the other hand, he was worried sick about the messes she gotten herself into already, such as her long standing antagonism with the school bullies. Could he really stand to see his little girl working in the PD? Knowing the dangers of the occupation?

Maybe he and Starsky should never have allowed her to start learning Judo and Karate in first grade, but she'd been a frail child with a weak sense of balance and the doctor had advised them to encourage physical exercise. It had seemed a good idea at the time; it would give her some confidence and put an end to the problems with bullies who were tormenting her even then.

It was only now, almost a decade later, that they had misgivings.

Their girl believed herself to be the defender of the weakest, and had started to get in the way every time the bullies were hitting a younger kid. That had been good in theory but even Starsk had grown weary at being called in to see the principal and having to convince him that Rae was right and didn't deserve to be expelled.

So far the fact that her opponents had just earlier browbeaten some other kid was working in her favor; the fact that she was a blackbelt in Karate was not. Some day the principal was going to expel her anyways.

Hutch just hoped that she could manage to finish her year. The accelerated program she was in would then send her to college and there she could find enough things to keep her extraordinary mind involved, and maybe then he and Starsky would get some rest.

But this year he had started to seriously worry. Although neither of them believed that she had gotten herself into anything like drugs, confident that if it was that kind of thing, they would have spotted it in a minute, things had started going crazy.

Rae had started neglecting her studies, running around with that damned skateboard. (Damn Ritchie for giving it her at her birthday!) She'd been hanging around with God knows what kind of kids. Either that or practicing her karate moves to exhaustion. The times that she sat down and lost herself in a book were now few and far between. She had stopped talking to them Damn it. Worse still, she wasn't even talking to Minnie. Yep, Hutch had started to worry seriously.

He missed his little girl, the one who gushed over her hero, the ninja Misao, and the one who asked for songs and stories, the one who explained her schoolwork in great detail to Starsky, because Hutch had told her that Starsky needed it, since he didn't know stuff. Hutch still felt bad for that one but Starsky hadn't minded, Hell he was having a blast and Rae ended with perfect marks.

Hutch understood about adolescence, but his Godchild was going overboard, sometimes the only sign that she was a teenage girl was the huge poster of Johnny Depp on her bedroom wall, but even then the reason for that could just be because he was in that TV show with the cops posing as students.

Molly told him that he was overreacting but she had never behaved like Rae. Nor had he, when he was Rae's age he'd never ever opened his mouth to complain, never mind answering back to his parents with the kind of acidic tongue Rae used, not and expecting to get out intact.

Hutch took comfort in the fact that despite all that, Rae had never given any signs that she planned to leave when she reached adulthood, never threatened to quit speaking to them again, so he decided he didn't have room to complain. After all this was the fourth week that the principal hadn't called to complain about Rae, Starsky would have called him otherwise, so he'd take what comfort he could.

+++++++++++

Starsky was waiting for him as usual, and Hutch took a moment to drink in his presence and enjoy his strong features, feeling the attraction as strongly as the first time. Thirty years and counting, and the emotions were still there!

But Starsky's expression told him that there was no time for reunions, and he guessed that there had been a development in the high-school case they were working on and they needed to speak shop.

"What's happened?" Hutch questioned.

"I put that kid, Banks, in undercover."

"But Starsk, he's still in uniform and he only just finished the Academy." Hutch was incredulous.

"Exactly, if someone is going to fit the bill of a teenager it's him. We had to do something, Masterson's been posing as a teacher since the beginning of the year and he hasn't found squat." Starsky was determined.

"I know, but we promised Henry we'd keep an eye on him."

"We do, but he's a cop, it's his job. Besides, kids are dying with tainted drugs out there. You've been away; I had to do something and quick. We'll watch out for him Babe."

Reality hit Hutch again like a blow, there were kids barely older than Rae dying, how could he forget it even for a second? It wasn't like he hadn't been following the case.

His misery must have been plain because Starsky looked contrite.

"I'm sorry Babe that was unfair."

For the first time Hutch noticed Starsky's tension. There were deep wrinkles in his face and he looked almost gray with fatigue. He had wanted to postpone his seminar but his partner had insisted he go, and he'd paid the price, alone. Oh Starsk.

"I take it there's news in the case?" he asked.

"Yeah they found more dead bodies; the most recent was just a kid. He was from Rae's class." Starsky sighed.

"Shit."

"He wasn't one of her close friends but she was devastated. I called her friends to the house."

"I was wondering why she wasn't here."

"She wanted to but she overhears enough bad stuff as it is. I didn't want her to hear this."

"What else?"

"Whoever they are, they're escalating, that was not a common overdose. The Coroner believes that he was murdered. She's had her suspicions about a couple of the previous victims, but now she is certain. There was poison in his blood as well as the dirty drugs."

Hutch sighed, "I should head to Parker Center." he said reluctantly, but Starsky stopped him.

"No need Babe, you look exhausted. I've assigned Molly and Kiko as Lead Investigators, and we're not on the front line anymore."

The combination of longing and tiredness in Starsky's voice tore at Hutch's heart; they weren't young anymore and it was becoming more apparent when they were trying to keep up with the hours they'd managed in their younger days.

Starsky was in worse shape than him, he felt guilty.

But the justified pride in Starsky's voice at the mention of Kiko and Molly lifted his spirits. Molly had the candid reputation as the best and baddest cop of their beat. In Hutch's heart that was always going to be Starsky, but he was prepared to concede Molly was the best as far as her generation went. And while Kiko had joined the Academy only after seeing his sister's success, but he too had flourished.

Hutch smiled to his partner meaningfully. "Let's go home partner."

Starsky brightened immediately, winked back at him and as they headed for the car his walking was his usual strut.

Maybe they weren't so old after all!

They returned home and they found Rae with the rest of her friends. The teens looked subdued but that was to be expected. They were busy blowing up aliens on the Play Station but without the usual racket.

Rae roused herself to hug him but without her usual bounciness, and she seemed way too serious for her age. Hutch sent her back to her friends and watched them all closely. Something was amiss.

Even in their sorrow they seemed too quiet. Angelica, Alison's daughter, was usually the ringleader, but was quiet today. Mariah and Christiana, Simonetti's girls were always in a shouting match with each other, and their brother Drew and Randy Dryden were virtually clowns. Even and with the death of their schoolmate it was too much, that was weeks ago. It was not right for them to be so down at their age.

The quietness was not the only unusual thing. The most startling change was Rae's appearance. She had her luxuriant curls combed into order and for once, her sweater was not the most tasteless cloth in the house.

His beloved tomboy looked different; she actually looked like a girl.

He hastily took Starsky aside.

"What happened to Rae? I haven't seen her so well behaved and tidy in ages. When did that change?" He whispered.

"I don't know Blondie, my first thought was, 'where's the pod?'" He laughed. "The only thing that I can think of is that the guys were teasing her about the new kid."

"Starsk," Hutch hissed, "the only new kid around her school is Daryl Banks."

"What? He is more than three years older than her. I am going to kill him!" Starsky growled.

"Does she know that he is a cop?"

"Yes, I introduced them to each other so she wouldn't give him away by mistake."

"We are great Detectives Starsk, you know that?" Hutch's sarcasm was so thick enough to feel.

"All right Hutch what did we miss?"

"Can you pinpoint the exact time that she started to dress so badly?"

"A month or so after she found that syringe in the school bathrooms"

"Uh huh…"

"She is trying to find the dealer at her school!" Starsky realized.

"We really need to talk to her about it."

But before they could discuss the matter deeper Rae banged open the door with a crash like thunder.

"Dad, God-Dad can I bring a friend for the New Year's Eve celebration? He is alone. Mom doesn't mind."

"Who is it Sweetheart?"

"It's Daryl, Dad, please."

They shared a fast look, communicating silently. In the end they could never deny her anything, and besides, it was better to know what they had to deal with.

"Alright Sweetheart."

"Thanks Dad, God-Dad." Rae hugged them hard and was out of the door like the whirlwind she was.

"Shit." They both whispered at the closed door simultaneously.

Starsky groaned in resignation, "I do some stupid things sometimes, don't I Sweetheart." he murmured, more to himself than Hutch.

 

2009

Hutch hated flying alone, but this year wasn't alone. Starsky was sleeping in the seat by his side, with his head resting on Hutch's shoulder.

The luxuriant dark curls had faded to salt and pepper coloring but they were still soft and Hutch still loved playing with them. In fact he still loved everything about Starsky and he found him the sexiest man on earth.

Forty years together and counting. Hutch was living it, and yet sometimes even he found it difficult to believe.

He kissed the curls softly and Starsky mumbled in his sleep but didn't waken, which Hutch was glad about. He knew Starsky was as exhausted as he was. Damn those Feds, he and Starsky were retired and were supposed to consult only in extreme circumstances. Not that Starsky could ever say no to police work and he could never say no to Starsky.

Today though, they were flying to San Francisco for a truly special occasion; Rae was expecting her first child, the baby due in less than a month's time. Minnie had been with her by the second trimester but they were held in Bay City.

Ten years ago they would never have foretold this day. When Rae had first met Daryl she was still a child. Her crush on him had been more about being a cop than it was the man himself. And Daryl's reaction had been more like indulging a kid sister than about flirtation. They hadn't worried too much.

Perhaps they should have done.

It was worse than a flirtation. Their precocious child had developed valid suspicions about the dealer in her school but she hadn't confided in them because she had no proof. It was mostly based on gut instinct and the guy she suspected was a model student.

But she'd told Daryl, who believed her and checked him out. Her suspect was the one but the evidence of his guilt had been hard to find. The case had gone on for months, although thankfully there were no more deaths.

It was then that their absolutely crazy child had convinced this previously logical officer of the law to let her act like his partner, persuading him to participate in an elaborate hoax to trap the dealer on the night of the prom.

It had came out of the blue to him and Starsky that their tomboyish child wanted to go the prom but that was nothing compared to their shock when they were shown her dress. It was nothing like the usual fluffy prom dresses. It was white and red, short in the front but long at the back. It was far more befitting of a flamingo dancer than a student.

There had been a row about that dress but Rae had informed them curtly that if she was doing the prom thing, it was going to be on her own terms. And Minnie had convinced them that the dress was not actually all that revealing and they had backed down. Their acceptance was almost blown away when they saw Daryl Banks at their door as Rae's date, with a red rose for her hair.

There had been a few exclamations if not outright threats. The boy had admitted that he was using Rae as extra cover with her permission. He and Starsky had been torn, but they wanted Rae to go to prom and have a good time so, they reluctantly allowed her to go, even though they had suspicions that things weren't as they seemed.

Nothing could have prepared them though, for the call at midnight telling them that there had been shooting at the prom. It turned out that Rae and Daryl had drawn out the dealer by exploiting his jealousy. The guy had hit on Rae a lot of times previously and her refusals had pissed him off. Seeing her at the prom, walking in on the tall black boy's arm, wearing the spectacular dress and dancing to a couple of Latin numbers, was the final straw that had him seething.

He had attacked them as they were leaving; pulling a gun on them. Daryl had arrested him and it had been enough for a search warrant for his car where they found enough cash and drugs to make him talk.

He and Starsky had been furious, angry at both kids, but especially Daryl. However, Daryl had protected Rae, stepping between her and the perp, and so they'd talked to the commissioner in his favor and somehow he'd managed to keep his badge. They'd had a few strong words with Daryl afterwards though and Rae had been grounded 'forever'.

Afterwards, he and Starsky had attempted to nip the little romance in the bud, as they felt it was too soon, for both of the kids to tell the truth, to get serious. To this end, it had helped that Rae did go to Barkley to study criminology. And the fact that they accompanied her with a temporary transfer to San Francisco PD for a while also helped. Sixteen was far too young to be left alone!

When, six months after that, Daryl managed to get a transfer to San Francisco PD himself they sat the boy down and had a talk. He admitted that he liked Rae a lot but he said that he would respect their age difference and was not going to take advance of her. Curiously they had believed and trusted him.

And they didn't say anything when Rae started dating him when she turned eighteen.

Rae continued her studies and after she finished criminology she applied to the Academy but she was turned down because she didn't meet the height requirements. She didn't accept defeat though, and applied to work with her credentials.

Today she was one of the best criminologists out there, and Hutch was certain that she managed to work unofficially with Daryl, as his arrest rate was impressive and marked by some interesting insights. He sighed, all that history, and now they were expecting their first child.

Hutch thought back to the day, two years ago, that Starsky had given Rae away to Daryl. He'd never seen Starsky more proud. Well, apart from the day she'd gotten her diploma. And if Starsky's eyes had been tearing up on both occasions Hutch hadn't kidded him about it because he had exactly the same problem.

+++++++++++

Too many hours had passed; it was Rae's first child, it was normal to take a long time. Or so Hutch tried to tell to himself, but the clock was merciless. Daryl was taller than Rae by more than a foot and their Rae was tiny. He was terrified. Minnie's labor hadn't taken that much time.

Starsky was putting on a brave front but Hutch knew him too well to believe he didn't feel the same. They looked to each other eyes, sharing their strength, the same as always.

Daryl's father was by the window shredding an unlit cigar with his teeth. Hutch watched him and wondered why the hell they couldn't they be by Rae's side like Minnie and Daryl? But the doctor had told them in no uncertain terms that they were not welcome. The doctor was right of course but that didn't help. Damn.

Hutch thought back to Daryl's expression as he was going in to the delivery suite; he was so terrified that he looked more like the kid they remembered from their first meeting rather than a hardened cop with ten years in the service.

It seemed like interminable hours later before the nurse

informed them that the birth had taken place and that mother and child were doing well.

When they walked in to see her, Rae looked small like the little girl of sixteen Hutch remembered so well. She was glowing with happiness but still looked so frail he barely dared to stroke her hair. Their little girl was a mother. Starsky kissed her hair and could barely keep his tears at bay. Daryl had given up trying; he looked wretched and was kissing her hand passionately and swearing again and again that he would never ever allow her to undergo such torment again.

Then the nurse came back with the baby. Hutch watched as Rae and Daryl counted fingers and toes as all parents do. And he remembered the first time that they had held Rae.

Finally it was Starsky's turn to hold his grandchild. Hutch was overwhelmed with happiness but he held back, knowing that after Starsky, it was the turn of the other grandfather. But Starsky didn't care for order, saw his longing look and put the baby squarely in his arms.

As Hutch held the child, Starsky's eyes filled once more with happy tears. He spoke, his voice full of emotion.

"It was your crazy idea years ago that has given us this miracle. Thank you my love, thank you!"

Hutch gazed his fill of the baby, a boy. Skin the color of dark honey and eyes that he was certain would eventually turn the same color as Starsky's.

He already loved this baby, and as he watched Rae he understood a different matter altogether.

His harebrained idea twenty seven years ago may have been for the benefit of Starsky but he was the one that had gained treasures he never dreamed of. It hit him again, this girl, this young mother was his daughter as much as Starsky's. It didn't matter that they were not related by blood or that she called him Godfather, in her heart he was a father to her too.

He turned to Starsky and murmured "No Starsk, I am the one that must thank you. Thank you for our life together partner."

"Hey it is not over yet old Blintz!" Starsky joked, and then added softly, "It was just me and thee."

"You are right Starsk, just me and thee."


End file.
